The Final Chapter

It saddends me to say that we lost our Aunt Lou a few weeks ago. She got a blood clot in her leg that the doctors were not able to treat. She passed away peacefully shortly after. Our family is still terribly sad but we are so grateful for all of the wonderful memories we shared with her. My sister wrote an amazing eulogy for her funeral. I'd like to share it with everyone.

Lou Ellen Ragan was the Matriarch of our family. As our parents and grandparents passed away, Aunt Lou took us in, making us her own children and grandchildren. Everyone was made to feel special and loved.

She had one son, Jimmy, one daughter-in-law, Maria, one grandson, Jeremy and one granddaughter-in-law, Linda. However, in total, she took in 3 nieces, 6 great nieces and nephews, 11 great-great nieces and nephews and one great-great-great nephew and made them all her own.

Aunt Lou was gregarious. She never met a stranger. A few nights ago, she laughed as she described herself in her father’s terms. “You’re just like your Aunt Gladys. Always loud mouthed and talking” he told her. She loved having fun, doing new things and meeting new people. She and JD met while she was a young teenage girl. He was wild in comparison to her tame upbringing and she loved being wild with him. He was the love of her life. He taught her to jitterbug and how to love life and have a roaring good time.

When JD was in the service during World War II, she said she traveled anywhere they’d let the wives go. She got to live with him in Alaska for a time and traveled to far off places to meet him whenever he had leave. She left Alaska to return home and have their only son, Jimmy.

Jimmy was the light of Aunt Lou’s life; the best son anyone could ever have, she often said. She told me that Jimmy would do things that any other man would never do for their mother.

But then came along a third man in her life: Jeremy. When he was a toddler, he rode on a little wooden chair in between Lou and JD in the bench seat of their El Camino. When Jeremy went to college, he lived with his Granny for a while. She fussed over him constantly as only a doting grandmother could do, making him breakfast every morning.

When Jeremy and Linda married this summer, Aunt Lou was over the moon. At the wedding, she wound up staying until the very end. I believe she said she got home about 1:30 in the morning and told us all the wedding stories for quite a while.

Lou worked for 30 years. When JD passed away, she moved in with her mother to take care of her. Aunt Lou’s niece, Nita, called her every day for the rest of her life, just to check on her.

Hilari remembers that she always kept cheese balls and Danish cookies at the house she shared with her mom. While we were working close by, Melinda, Sonja and I would often stop in for lunch. You were always welcome and never needed an invitation. Aunt Lou loved being the weigh-station for all of our comings and goings.

When her mother passed away, Aunt Lou moved into an apartment right next to my grandmother. She and Mema had a lot of good times. They played lots of Skipbo, took many Dan Dipert tours together and took several mini vacations with Melinda, Hilari and John. On one of those trips, Aunt Lou tried to teach John how to use a bow and arrow. I never knew she could shoot but then she was always full of surprises. Aunt Lou and Mema also enjoyed having sleep-over’s with Hilari and John. Aunt Lou would take them to the grocery store and let them buy whatever they wanted for dinner.

Aunt Lou had a fantastic sense of humor. She always made us laugh and was sharp as a tack with her wit. She’d throw out phrases like “I’m nervous as a pregnant nun” and “my mouth is dry as a heel” and have us all in stitches. We’ll all miss laughing with her.

She loved to be in the middle of her family, no matter the reason. Whether it was peeling potatoes for potato salad or packing up yet another one of us to move, she was involved in it all.

The lady loved hot sauce; she would eat habanero Rot-tel tomatoes straight out of the can. In fact, her last real meal was brought to her in the hospital by Hilari and Melinda. She ate a taco and 3 tubs of the hot sauce, just with a spoon.

She loved the Cowboys, and she would have been put out that they played so badly this past week. She had lots of Cowboys paraphernalia including a Cowboys mat in front of her recliner and she watched them faithfully. Dad would call her every game to make sure she had the TV on the right channel and was watching. When we were in the ER last Friday, she told me to tell Dad on the phone that her leg was hurting because she kicked too many footballs during their game the night before. She said that she didn’t watch all of that last pre-season game as she was not pleased with their performance.

Her wonderfully tacky gifts she gave all of us were the highlight of every birthday and Christmas. We could all spot an "Aunt Lou" gift from a mile away. Hilari enjoyed the singing sunflower and Blaine loved a ceramic tennis shoe with little soaps in it. If she went “serious” on us with a gift, we were somewhat disappointed.

You could also count on receiving a card for any occasion with a cut out butterfly taped to the front of the envelope. Even the younger cousins like Grant & Asa, Ethan and Hailey could recognize her birthday cards without opening them. She LOVED butterflies. She had them cut out of magazines pasted to her refrigerator door and in every room of her house.

Her love for sparkly things, especially jewelry was right up there on her favorite list. I’m not sure if the jewelry or the butterflies would get top billing but a sparkly butterfly pin would be the best possible scenario.

Aunt Lou loved chocolate and it held healing powers for her. A few months ago, Aunt Lou could not be awakened. John worked his magic nursing skills with little results then Hilari broke out the chocolate. She put it in Aunt Lou’s mouth and Aunt Lou started chewing, woke up and said, “That’s good”. She continued to recover from that illness and she was on her way out of the nursing home into assisted living just two weeks ago.

We were broken-hearted to see that the chocolate didn’t work this last time. She stayed with us for a week so that we could adjust and all get to say goodbye.

As much as I’m going to miss Aunt Lou, I know that Jimmy has a hole in his heart right now that is different than mine. As Aunt Lou did for us, we will hold you tightly. Know that we will continue that bond long after today.

Aunt Lou loved each and every one of us with her whole heart. She wasn't just my Aunt, she was my friend. I am so happy that God chose her for our family.

In the days and months ahead, we can remember what a beautiful lady Aunt Lou was. We will comfort each other with the knowledge of what a loving, supportive and close-knit family we still have. Our family will continue on long after now because of the strong and stable roots that she and Uncle JD, and Mema and Dadaddy planted and nurtured for our family.

Visit from Cindy

I visited with Aunt Lou Wednesday, August 11th. She was strong and very chatty and smiling. We talked about her oxygen with the DON because she doesn't have it in her nose most of the time. She had just scooted out of the bathroom in her w/c by herself when I arrived, and with that exertion, she was not winded at all. The DON said she would talk to the dr. about it the next morning when he visited the facility about weaning her off it. It is always set on 2 liters/minute, a very low dose.

Aunt Lou said she was about done with most of her PT, so she would have more free time. She went to bingo this week and won two quarters. She "said" she only used one card. :)

She ate the remainder of her Vernon, Texas "hot," hot sauce with taco chips, and then finished it with a spoon. She said it was sooooo good! She gave me back the tin that contained home made brownies, telling me it was empty. I told her I'd better get to cooking again. She does love her chocolate. She said they were walking her with a walker in PT, but she is not ready for her walker. She is afraid it will get away from her too quick.

She has worked some on the baby blanket that I had left before, but she did have it handy on her made bed.

We also told the DON again that she was not getting her dry cereal in the mornings unless she asked for it. The DON said it was written on her card, and she would check on it again, that she shouldn't have to ask for it. She said to let her know if it was not on her try again.

Aunt Lou is stronger, her mind is bright, and she smiles allot. I don't know what meds she is on, but I want some of them!!

Cindy

The Boys are Back

Boomer & Grant stayed in the van due to all our meltable cargo. Asa, Zaneand I found her resting but not asleep. Her roommate is gone and she's glad.She was all smiles to see us and as chipper as ever. All she wanted to talkabout was her stuff and her move to the next place. She said she was readyto get settled in one place. She didn't seem to understand what she wouldhave of her personal things when she moved to the other wing. Zane loved onher and she ate it up!It was a short visit as we need to get home before its too late.

Love,
Sonja

A Visit from the Beanie Boys

Nita, Asa, Grant, and I visited Aunt Lou today at the nursing home. We called her and asked what she wanted to eat for lunch; she said she loved hamburgers. She ate the entire burger, 8 oz. of "hot" hot sauce from Vernon, Tx., most of her onion rings, and coke. She used some of the hot sauce on her burger, she ate some with a spoon eating it like soup, and drank the rest. She said it was sooooo good. I had brought her favorite, Big Red ice cream, and thought she would eat it after we left, after eating such a big lunch----no. She ate it all for lunch, to the last drop. We ate in the front living room and had our food spread out on the fireplace hearth. She really enjoyed it. It is so pretty out there. Then we went back to her room and hung pictures the boys had painted yesterday. She loved them. Grant brought her a big bouquet of flowers that he picked out for her. She was totally oriented and joking with us. She is on 2 liters of continuous O2. PT said he was going to get her a chair O2 tank holder, instead of the little cart one. She is back to scooting along with her feet in her w/c.

Chugging hot sauce.

Of course she ate all that ice cream...look at how much hot sauce she ate!

The administrator and director of nursing came around asking everyone down her hall how things were. At first she said everything was fine. After they left to the next room, she said she didn't really see the administrator. Then when I asked her about the food at the center, she said it was not good. I explained to her they were asking her to find out if there were concerns/problems they needed to fix and they really wanted to know how things were going for her. We grabbed them on their return trip and told them she wanted to talk to them again, and that she didn't really see the administrator, Aaron. They came back in and this time he squatted, down bedside her w/c and looked up to her so she could really see him and talk to him. She got their first names down and we wrote their first names on her TV channel listing. We told her if she did not get what she needed, to ask to see them by name. That seemed to please her. She told them about her dislike of the food and not always getting her dry cereal (she wants Rice Krispies) every morning. They took notes. We also told them she had told the nurse this am about a "sty" coming on her eye last night, and that I had also told the nurse about 30 minutes before they had come in too. They told her they would be calling the Dr. about her eye and they would take care of her concerns. They/we also clarified with Aunt Lou that if they brought her a meal she did not like, she could ask for a sandwich or something else.

I started another baby blanket while we were sitting there with Aunt Lou, hoping she would try it again. She worked on it after I got it started and kept it to work on. That is great!!

She does not have a roommate yet, so the boys enjoyed playing on the other bed and watching the little TV. She really enjoys the visits, especially seeing the kids and taking pictures with them. She needs cards, visits, and phone calls, flowers.

At about 2pm, PT came to get her to take her to finish her PT/OT she started this am and we left.

Asa's picture.

They delivered another picture from Caleb he called "Christmas Lights".

Ethan's picture of "Sandman, Spiderman, Green Goblin, and Venom."

Grant's picture.

Cindy

All Dressed Up

Aunt Lou's grandson, Jeremy, married Linda on May 29, 2010. This is a picture we took of Aunt Lou at her apartment, after she was all ready to go to the wedding. She was so happy and excited for them. She looked so beautiful in the dress Maria had gotten for her. She went early for pictures and stayed until the reception was almost over---such stamina for 87 y/o ! She had a great time being with everyone and seeing it all from start to finish. She just kept smiling and taking it all in. She is so proud of her family. They are very important to her. They have done so much to make all her transitions with her health go as smoothly as possible for her, and she is grateful and blessed to have them.

Cindy

She's Ba-aack!

Wendy, Caleb, Ethan and I went over to see Aunt Lou for lunch today. She ate the hamburger, onion rings, etc. we brought her pretty well by herself. She really enjoyed it and our visit. After lunch we went out into the front living room and Jeremy came on his lunch time and brought her Chick Fillet. I guess when we plan to go and bring her lunch, we should email that am to alert all of us. She is saving his for supper. We also brought her a small container of "hot" hot sauce that is made on Paradise St. in Vernon. She LOVED it and ate it all. She put some on her hamburger and ate the rest with a spoon!!!!! She said it was really good. We also left her with homemade brownies. When we arrived shortly before noon, she had finished with PT and was in her w/c in her room, eating her chocolates from Hilari. Her lunch comes around noonish. She was alert and coherent and knew all of us. When we left she wanted to rest for a while, so I assisted her back in bed with her doing most of it. She is doing really well and said she really enjoyed all of our visits today. She loves her pretty nails that Ann Marie fixed for her. They look great. The poster Ann Marie made is super for her to enjoy with all our pictures on it.

Yummy Sonic!

The boys each painted a picture and gave them to her. Caleb said his is "Roni" (AKA Beefaroni), and I had scribbled a butterfly, per Ethan's request, and he painted it. They hung them on her closet doors with sticky putty.

Butterfly on yellow paper, "Roni" on green...in case you couldn't tell. :-)

Caleb showing his Elmo book to Aunt Lou.

Ethan presenting her with homemade brownies.

Ethan loved her bed.

They entertained her by playing with Buzz and Zurg.

We had a nice time sitting in a living room area and chatting.

Nana had to take the kids on a little walk when they got bored. See them way up there on the second floor?

Thanks for the fries Jeremy. :-)

Aunt Lou wanted to go outside and feel how hot it was. She was cold and thought it felt good.

The kids "helping" push Aunt Lou back to her room while Nana pushed the oxygen tank. It was quite an adventure.

Send her cards, pictures of family, pictures the kids colored, call, visit, etc.

Her address is:

Cityview Care Center
5801 Bryant Irvin Road
Ft. Worth, Tx. 76132

Her telephone number at her bedside is: 817-433-0905. If she doesn't answer, call again or at another time.

She has NO cards hanging in her room. Get a bunch and send her one often. She loves cards--pretty ones and funny ones. And keep praying.

Cindy & Wendy

Aunt Lou's New Digs

...or should I say her old digs, as I believe she's been here at least once or twice before.

Blaine, Joy and I went to see Aunt Lou today. We used her for the pick-up place for the Boy. She enjoys being in the loop.

It's true that she's "stuck" in her bed for the moment. However, she's only been there about 24 hours. The weekday staff will get there tomorrow and get things going, I'm sure. She doesn't have a wheel chair in her room yet and she couldn't push herself around if she did have one right now anyway. She's still weak as a kitten and keeps her eyes closed most of the time even when she's talking to you.

Jimmy and Maria were there today before us, she said. They're still on the ball with everything she wants and needs, even though I'm quite certain they're physically and emotionally spent. She had on a clean cotton house dress and had her hair back in a hairband. She's using her call bell and they answered it while I was there and they don't even know to be scared of me yet ;)

She ate breakfast and didn't eat lunch because she didn't like it (it sounded like it was a cup of Alpo). She said she'd eat a little supper even if she didn't like it. We talked about how she has the swimmy head from lying around so much and not eating and she agreed that after she gets settled, she'll be feeling better in that regard.

She said she had another "spell" today. Apparently, her rommate went to the hospital or somewhere after having perhaps a heart-related situation. This was Aunt Lou's guess. She said she was panting because they were moving her and her roommate around, out of her room, etc. "so fast" and it sent her into a panting spell. She has a new roommate now and all is well again.

She's still disoriented to what day/time it is, exactly when people have come and gone, how long she's been where, etc. She's not disoriented in a crazy sort of way but in an I've been really sick for a while way.

To say that she's better would be to say that she's on the mend, which I'm pretty sure isn't the case. I'm not sure how much her body is planning on mending or what is going to be the new normal but she's been in the same state she's in now since maybe last Wednesday or so.

I continued to ask her if she wanted us to leave, if I could turn the lights down and leave so she could take a nap before dinner, etc. and she said no, she wanted all the company she could get and didn't want to be left alone. We stayed and chatted about everything for quite a while and she still wasn't ready for us to go.

I'm not ready for her to go either. Not even a little. Pray for peace, acceptance and healing for us all. Especially for Jimmy & Maria. I can't even imagine but I know many of you have been there and know their feelings exactly. If that's you, do for them what you would have wanted done for you.

Meanwhile, she's here for however God wants her to be and wanting to see everyone. So, like Hilly, I ask for Aunt Lou that you go see her if you at all can. She needs us.

Enough soap-boxing, back to crying.

Ann-Marie